Author's Notes:  This is crack.  Crude, smutty, random crack.  Expect ooc behavior, foul language and dirty talk as well as crude references to sex.  This may
end up with romance and it may end up with plotless lemons for various pairings.  All I know is I wanted to do a smutty tenipuri lemon-fest fic and this is what I
got.  They're all gay here.  Shinji just happens to be my favorite right now.  I expect to torture Fuji, Yukimura, or Oshitari next.  I like me some tensai smut.  ;p
Category:  Yaoi, Anime, Prince of Tennis
Pairings (for this part):  KamioxShinji, IshidaxSakurai, MorixUchimura
Warnings:  reference to sex, language
Author:  Arigatomina

Pronful Tales of Seduction

Seducing Shinji, I

It was a Friday when Kamio Akira set out to seduce his best friend.  More accurately, it was a Friday when he decided that Ibu Shinji had to be seduced
posthaste and that he, as the boy's closest friend, was the best person for the job.  There had been some suspicious people hanging around the courts lately,
like that blue-haired vulcan from Jyousei and a big hulking guy who looked suspiciously like that mute flunky of Atobe's.  Kamio suspected the latter might have
to do with him rather than Shinji, but he wasn't taking any chances.  There was danger inside the team, too.  Ishida was getting more tactile, and Shinji had
confided in him last week that Tachibana had pet his back in a "weird way" in the locker room after practice.  That sneaky captain.

The decision to seduce Shinji now, as apposed to later, was simple to make.  The vultures were closing in.  Even his own teammates were trying to get some.  
And damnit all, they knew he had dibbs.  He'd made it clear the first time Ishida had suggested inviting Tachibana and Shinji to one of their sleepovers.  
Tachibana, sure.  But Kamio had known back then that Shinji was a virgin and there was no way he'd let his best friend's first time be in the midst of a bunch of
horny guys who'd been doing that sort of thing for years.  No way in hell.  He was going to go out with Shinji first.  Exclusively.  And then, if Shinji decided he
was interested in a little casual sex on the side, well, maybe he'd think about sharing once in a while.  Maybe.  Ishida had done the same thing with Sakurai
when they first started going out, so it was only fair.  Kamio's mind had been made up for over two years and it was a Friday when he decided to make his
move.  The question was how exactly one went about seducing a quirky virginal tensai who had an open aversion to being touched and disliked any situation
where he wasn't in control.

Friday night found him slouched by the closet in Ishida's room, scowling over a bowl of chips and brainstorming with his friends.  Ishida and Mori were a lot
more experienced than he was, so he figured they were something of an authority on seme versus uke dynamics.  Kamio considered himself pretty versatile
when it came to that, but there was no way he was going to play uke to a first-timer who'd never even been kissed.  No, he'd have to be prepared to teach
Shinji the ropes as a confident seme if this was going to work.  That was assuming Shinji was the least bit interested.

"What if he's straight?" Kamio blurted.

Mori and Ishida exchanged a startled look and burst out laughing.  They laughed louder when Kamio bristled and glared at them.

"Yeah, right," Ishida snorted.  "He's a tennis player.  How many straight tennis players have you met?"

"Well," Kamio frowned, "I thought that vulcan guy was straight till I found out he'd been calling Shinji looking to 'practice' sometime."

"He's bi," smiled Mori.  "I heard there's one of those at Seigaku, too.  Crushing on their tensai, but otherwise as straight as a tennis player can get.  Everyone
knows even the straightest players turn gay when they run across a pretty tensai.  Look at what happened to Sanada."

"Point," said Kamio.  "But Shinji is a tensai, so..."

Ishida laughed again and shook his head at how naive Kamio was, considering his experience.  "The tensai's are the gayest ones of all.  Where have you
been?  All you got to do is look at them, you know?  Oshitari?"

"Gay," admitted Kamio.  "Practically has a girlfriend with that little partner of his..."


"Sadistic gay," Mori snorted.  Kamio gave a reluctant nod.

"That Rikkai captain?"

"Way gay," said Kamio, rolling his eyes.  "But I thought that Kirihara was their tensai."

"Either way," Ishida waved.  "What?  You don't think he's gay?"

"That entire team is gay," laughed Mori.  "They're as bad as us."

"Same with Hyoutei and Seigaku," nodded Ishida.  "See?  They're all gay.  Even if there were a few holdouts, all it takes is one match against a tensai and they

"So Shinji's definitely gay," said Kamio.

"Yeah," said Ishida.  "No worries there.  He's just too stuck in his own head to notice."

"What should I do, then?" asked Kamio.

Mori smiled pleasantly.  "Invite him to a late practice.  I'm sure Tachibana-san would lend you the keys.  Then jump him in the locker room."

"Or the showers," said Ishida.  "You can offer to...wash his back."

"Oh, sure," scoffed Kamio.  "And what do I do when he freaks?  He throws a fit if anyone so much as looks at him in the shower room.  Forget trying to touch

Ishida let out a frustrated sigh.  "Now, see?  That's your problem.  He's going to freak one way or another.  He's Shinji.  Just ignore it.  Gag him if you have to. there's a thought..."

Kamio jolted forward with a black scowl on his face.  Mori got there first, whacking Ishida upside the head.

"You can fantasize later," Mori lectured. "Right now we're helping Kamio."

"Hey," Ishida protested, "I was being helpful!  It'd be a lot easier with two people.  You know, someone to keep him still long enough for him to realize it's not so

"You're just trying to get in on it," snapped Kamio.  "Besides, I'm trying to seduce him here, not rape him."

Ishida winced.  "Now that's harsh."

"Probably true, though," said Mori.  "You just don't start a virgin out with bondage.  Be a little more sensitive."

"Really," said Kamio.

"Oh, come on," Ishida muttered, rolling his eyes.  "Do you want to fuck him, or make him fall in love with you?"

Kamio considered that for all of five seconds.  "Both?"

"Oh, dear," sighed Mori.  "Kamio, you do realize that Shinji already likes you, right?  You're all he talks about."

"And considering how much he talks," said Ishida, "that's a lot."

"The problem," said Mori, "is that he hasn't shown any sign that he's attracted to you, or anyone else, for that matter.  After you jump him, he'll realize he's not
asexual and that it's normal to have sex with the person he likes best.  I know you've been putting this off for a while, but really, he's not getting any uglier.  If
you try starting from scratch, there's no way you're going to get him before someone else does."

"Seriously," Ishida sighed.  "I can't count how many opportunities I've had to jump him this month alone.  I swear, he can't keep putting his foot up on the bench
when he ties his shoes.  Hell, even Tachibana-san stopped pretending he wasn't watching that."

Kamio felt a sly smile cross his face at the thought.  As frustrating as it was that Shinji didn't have a clue, it did make for some tantalizing images.  Like how he
always picked the corner shower so his back was to the room, as if a rear view was any less tempting.  Or the way he dozed off on the bus with his head tilted
so the entire length of his neck was just begging for a nibble.  And the sounds he made after a long practice, all hot and sweaty and panting, strands of his
hair clinging to flushed cheeks.  He always pouted a little and licked his lower lip when he was thirsty.  Then there were the quiet sounds he made in the back
of his throat on those rare occasions he let Kamio rub his sore shoulders after a rough match.  He was so fucking hot.

"Okay, guys," Kamio said suddenly. He took a deep breath and set his bowl to the side.  "Gotta focus here.  Yeah.  So...  I was thinking I'd feel him up a little,
you know, make some advances starting slow and work my way up to it.  I figure if I try jumping him, he'll either run away or think I'm attacking him and fight
back.  Then I won't get far enough to show him it's nice - he'll get all grudge-bearing mutter of gloom on me and avoid me for a year or two.  My question is,
how far is too far for the first try?  I mean, should I tell him something first?  Or just make a move on him and then explain that I like him and want to take it up a

"Well," said Mori, "if you're really set on seducing him, you shouldn't start out too fast.  Tell him you like him first.  Then, when he misinterprets that-"

"Because you know he will," Ishida put in.

"You show him what you mean by making your first move," Mori finished.  "Kissing, hugging, maybe some groping.  But nothing below the belt unless he kisses

"Slip him the tongue," said Ishida.  "If he gags and gets sick on you, you can forget that 'go slow' shit.  If he can't even handle a little tongue you just know he's
going to be freaking out over every single thing.  Guys like that, you pretty much gotta go all the way the first time 'cause you won't be getting a second try if
you don't."

Kamio groaned and rubbed his head.  "This sounds so messy.  Did you have this much trouble with Sakurai?"

"Hell, no," Ishida laughed.  "He was a little shy at first, but he knew he was gay.  I mean, sure, we had a few hiccups.  He's not one for having something bigger
than a tongue in his mouth, doesn't like dirty talk, has this thing where he won't do it unless we're face to face - but nothing you can't work around.  When I
said jump him, I didn't mean force him to do stuff he's really set against.  Unless he's really set against sex, in which case, it's just because he's never done it
before.  The little stuff, though, you'll pick that up quick.  Everyone has something he just doesn't like."

"Like biting," said Mori. "Asphyxiation, fisting, doing it without lube..."

Ishida sent him a droll look.  "I was talking about the basics.  He's a virgin, remember?  Kamio doesn't want to leave him traumatized for life."

"Yeah," Kamio grimaced.  "And I still think that fisting shit's just crazy."

Mori gave a prim little sniff.  "Don't knock it till you've tried it."

"Eh, I'd rather not."

"You never know," Mori shrugged.  "Shinji might like that sort of thing."

Kamio choked and his eyes glazed over.  Ishida returned the favor by slapping Mori upside the head.

"Shinji's a virgin," Ishida muttered to him.  "Virgin.  No bondage, no kinky sex tricks.  He has to lay him before they can start experimenting.  Dumbass."

"As long as he remembers to keep an open mind," Mori smiled.  "If he wants to start out with a monogamous relationship, he'll need to take his partner's
preferences into consideration.  After all, if Kamio can't satisfy him, there are plenty of other people willing to."

Kamio drifted back after hearing something about his not being able to satisfy Shinji.  He scowled dazedly and nibbled a handful of chips.  "Where were we

"Fisting," said Mori.


"Damnit, Mori," scowled Ishida.  He pounded on Kamio's back till the chips dislodged and the redhead coughed his throat clear.  "We were at slow.  You tell
him you like him, want him, then you feel him up a little and slip him the tongue.  If he doesn't put up a fight, you take it a little further and aim for that neck of
his.  If he likes that, well, you keep going.  Jerk him off or something."

"Just make sure it's about him," said Mori.  "You're doing it because you want to make him feel good, not because he looks like he'd be a tight lay.  Though he
really does, all lanky and innocent.  Ah, it's been so long since I've defiled a virgin.  And Shinji looks like such a screamer...I bet he'd whimper at every single

Kamio choked again, and Ishida slapped a bottle of water into his hand.  Then he turned to whack the pervert upside the head, harder this time.

"Stop it, Mori," Ishida growled.  "Seriously.  You're getting as bad as Uchimura.  I don't mind that most of the time, but right now it's not helping."

"Hai, hai," Mori winced, rubbing at his abused head.  "I'll behave.  Don't hit so hard unless you mean it, playboy.  Anyway, Kamio, do you need anything?  A
location?  Alcohol?"

"Lube?" Ishida offered.

"Um, no," Kamio mumbled.  His throat hurt from all the choking.  "He's coming over tomorrow.  I'll have the place to myself most of the weekend.  I don't think
we'll get that far, but I have stuff if we need it.  And I'm not getting him drunk, Mori, so shut it.  That's as bad as gagging him so he can't say no.  Seduction,
remember?  Not rape."

"We know," Ishida assured him, though his expression said Kamio was being a little too prudish about the subject.  "Just remember that it's not rape once he
starts begging for more.  Hell, you were the same way the first time we tied you up.  Didn't hear any protests after that, now did we."

"I protested," Kamio snapped.  "I had marks on my arms all week!  Why do you think I wouldn't try it again?  And don't even get it in your head about trying that
shit with Shinji till you find something better than bungee cords.  I don't care if he does end up liking that sort of thing.  Those fucking rope burns hurt.  
Bondage freaks."

"Now, now," Mori murmured.  "You just don't like being uke.  If you hadn't struggled so much it wouldn't have left marks."

"Whatever," Kamio scoffed.  "The point is, I want to do this right.  Start out slow.  And I'm not tying him up, drugging him, or shoving a fist up his ass.  I swear, I
gotta find less perverted friends to get advice from."

Ishida laughed at that.  "You're getting advice on sex.  Tips on how to jump someone.  It's gonna be perverted no matter what.  We're just more straightforward
about it than the prudes would be."

"Whatever," Kamio said again.  "I'm going home.  He's coming over early."

Ishida straightened at that.  "What?  You're not gonna play around a little?"

"No way," Kamio glowered.  "You're in kinky moods and I need to focus on Shinji.  The last thing I want is for one of you to rub off on me.  I swear, I don't know
how the hell I got talked into losing my virginity to a bunch like you.  And you wonder why I won't let you go near Shinji..."

The two teammates watched Kamio leave the room.  Then they frowned at each other.  Ishida snorted in exasperation.

"He sure complains a lot the day after," he muttered.  "How much you want to bet he'll be calling me for alcohol tomorrow night?"

"No bet," Mori smirked.  "And knowing Shinji, alcohol will just make him pass out, so even that won't help.  Poor Kamio.  He really has his work cut out for him.  
If he'd just let me handle it, I'm sure we could have him addicted in...oh, a few hours at most."

Ishida smirked back at him.  "Yeah, Kamio's way too quick to forget that he came hopping back for more as soon as he could walk straight.  I give him a week
before he breaks down and just jumps him.  Seduce Shinji?  Right.  Like trying to talk a cat into taking a swim."

"Or talking Tachibana-san into playing uke for the rest of us," laughed Mori.  "Poor Kamio.  He'll learn eventually that sometimes bondage is the only solution."