Credit: Goes to Chrissy_Sky and Rose Thorne for their YYH mst fic, 'Enma's Torment Theater.' That's the only real MST fic I've read.
Category: Yaoi, Gundam Wing, AU, comedy, romance
Pairings: 1x2, 3x4, 6+5/5+6, reference to other *fictional* pairings
Warnings: humor, 3x4 'fictional' lemon, shonen ai, language
Author: Arigatomina
Email: arigatoumina@hotmail.com
Complete Archive: www.geocities.com/arigatomina
Yaoi Fanfiction
Part 1a: And They All Came
"What are you doing?" Duo frowned from the doorway, blinking at his lover and partner as he found Heero seated in front of his laptop. Trowa and Quatre were supposed to be there any minute, and Wufei had been sitting in the driveway when he'd gotten back from some last second shopping. Heero turned sharply at his voice, almost jumping, and Duo raised an eyebrow. Obviously, whatever the boy was doing he'd been so engrossed in it he hadn't heard Duo's arrival. That spoke of how serious it was. "Heero, you're blushing."
With a low growl, Heero shook his head, his face heating more as he suddenly pushed the button, the printer he had hooked to his computer spitting out page after page of print. "I was checking my email," he said slowly. He sighed when Duo stepped forward and leaned over him, one arm trailing down his chest. "Relena sent me a rather vague message, telling me to go to a site on the internet."
"Relena? Isn't she too busy to be surfing the net?" Duo frowned, wondering what had been important enough to cause the girl to break her busy routine. It wasn't often that they even heard from her. "And? Where'd she want you to go?"
"To a site," Heero repeated, his eyes narrowing as he felt his cheeks grow warm again. "It's an...archive...of writers who write stories about things they've seen or read, www.mediaminer.org."
"Oh, I've heard of fan-fiction. But why would Relena want you to go read some stories?"
"Because. They're about us." The boy beside him tensed, and Heero nodded slowly. "She gave me the name of a specific author, and Duo...those stories...fics...they're..."
"Heero? Just spit it out."
"No," Heero said quickly, shaking his head as he clicked onto another of the stories he'd copied, printing it as well. "I'm going to print some of these, and I think we should read them, all of us."
"Well, that's cool. Wufei's already here, and Quatre and Trowa shouldn't be too long." Duo smiled when Heero looked surprised. "Yep, he said he knocked for a good five minutes. Guess you were distracted."
"You can say that again..."
* * *
Heero carried the papers, having stapled the different stories together, and he handed them out silently, without explaining. But then, he didn't really need to since Duo had already told the other three about Relena's message. As it was, they were also eager to know what was being written about them. While their plan had been to simply get together and visit, it was apparent they would be spending their time a bit differently.
>>
>>Category: Anime, Gundam Wing, Yaoi, TWT
>>
"What's yaoi?" Quatre asked, frowning at the story Heero had handed him. The name Gundam Wing was obvious to him, as he had a secret love of Japanese animation, but he didn't understand the other word.
"It..." Heero cleared his throat, wishing he didn't have to be the only one who'd heard of the word before. "It basically tells about the type of...relationship...yaoi...it means two guys...as opposed to a male and a female." The blonde boy was staring at him, and he felt his face heat yet again when Wufei snorted softly. "It does."
"Cool," Duo laughed, looking at the stiff boy seated beside him. "And Relena reads stories about gay guys? That's unbelievable!"
"Just read." Heero didn't look up, his jaw tightening as he waited for the next outburst. He already imagined how the others would react to the stories. He hadn't even read them all, and he'd been fighting an intense nosebleed. Of course, they'd soon figure out why he had three boxes of kleenex set in the middle of the table beside the coffee pot and cups. He imagined it would be a long night.
>>
>>Pairings: see warning, main: 1x2, 3x4,
>>
"What do the numbers mean?" Trowa asked, frowning slightly. It was evident that the writer used them with ease, and he didn't doubt that there were people who understood the meanings. He, however, wasn't one of them. "One x two?"
Again, it was Heero who was left with the explaining, and this time he didn't blush at all. He turned to smirk at Duo. "The numbers," he said slowly, "refer to us. I am the 1, for being pilot 01, Duo is 2, Trowa, you're 3, Quatre is 4, and Wufei is 5."
"I get it," Duo said, smiling widely as he looked at all of them. "It's what OZ dubbed us, the numbers for us pilots."
"Right," Heero nodded, still looking pleased.
"But what is the x?" Wufei's eyes narrowed when Heero suddenly looked ready to grin, and he wondered if he really wanted to know.
"This one took me a bit longer," Heero admitted. "But a plus sign means friendship or liking someone romantically, the first number being the one liking the second number. And an x means sex, the first one...dominating...the second." Duo choked, and he suddenly did smile, if only for a second.
"What?!" Wufei's eyes nearly popped out of his head, and he took a long drink of the cup set to his left, swallowing till his throat was scalded. "Then this...1x2 means you and Duo?!"
"Yes."
Duo slowly smiled, and his eyes glinted. Now he understood why Heero had looked so smug. Obviously his lover was proud to be the "dominant" one, not that Duo had ever found reason to complain.
"Then the 3x4 means..." Quatre blushed, his voice trailing off as he gave a slow and shy smile at Trowa, shaking his head. "I guess this author has done his homework."
"Hers," Heero said, frowning again. "I think it's a girl. Relena thought so, and she's probably right. In fact, from what little Relena *did* say in her note, most of the people who write these stories are female."
"Really," Duo said, his voice surprised. "Wow."
>>
>>6x5
>>
"..who the *hell*...is number six?"
Everyone turned to look at Wufei, no one missing how pale the boy was and they looked again to the story they held, the 6x5 making them wonder as well.
"Zechs," Heero said.
"Ack!"
Duo laughed suddenly, loving how red the Chinese boy was and the way he seemed to be having trouble breathing. "Man, Wufei, why didn't you tell us you and Zechs had a thing going on? I thought we were friends."
"You slept with Zechs?" Quatre looked confused, and he glared at Trowa when the tall boy let out a sharp laugh. "Well?"
"I did not!" Wufei shouted. He pinned the blonde with an intense glare and clenched the edge of the table. "It's a lie!"
"Calm down," Heero said smoothly. "These stories are fiction, meaning they aren't truth. Keep reading, though. If you think that's bad, wait till you get to the actual story."
"Must be some story," Duo said, "the warning is huge!"
>>
>>WARNING: LEMON, LEMON, LEMON,
>>
"Okay," Duo smirked, "so what's the lemon mean, Heero?"
"Sex."
The boy had said it so simply that Duo couldn't help but smile. "Where did *that* come from? Sex is lemon? But lemons are sour." Heero snorted. "Heh, guess it makes sense that she capitalized it, though - if it means sex."
"And repeated it three times," Trowa commented.
>>
>>all types from sweet to bondage,
>>
"From sweet to kinky," Duo laughed. "I wonder who has the bondage." His eyes glinted at Heero, making the stoic boy shift in his chair.
>>
>>long and descriptive to short and sudden, all willing,
>>
"Variety is nice." Throwing a grin at Quatre's blushing face, Duo shook his head. "Do you think she really needed to say all willing like that? If I'm paired up with Heero, of course it would be willing. Same with you and Trowa, right?"
Quatre sighed, his flaming face too dark to hide. "Duo..."
>>
>>this will be my best PWP ever,
>>
"PWP?" Trowa raised an eyebrow at Heero, since the boy seemed to know the most. Sure enough, Heero nodded.
"That means point what point, saying there isn't a real reason for the story." Again, Heero was glad Relena had thought to do a *bit* of explaining before she'd sent him to the site.
"Her best ever?" Quatre asked. He blinked at the page. "Does that mean she makes it a habit to write pointless stories?"
Wufei snorted. "Stupid women wasting time like that, figures."
>>
>>the king of them in my opinion.
>>
"Well," Trowa noted, "she seems sure of herself."
"Or cocky," Duo said. He gave a cheeky grin. "Pun intended."
Heero rolled his eyes but chose not to comment on that one.
>>
>>ODD PAIRINGS.
>>
"Odd?" Quatre frowned over at Heero. "Is she trying to say there's something odd about Trowa and I being paired together?"
"I doubt it." Heero waved at the stack of stories waiting to be read. "Most of these are 1x2 and 3x4. Either that's normal, or she has a fetish for those pairings."
Duo wrinkled his nose, leaning away from the table. "Ew...some girl out there has a fetish writing about you and me having sex. Heero, that's disturbing."
"I know."
>>
>>This is what my friend and I call my "porno".
>>
Wufei choked on his coffee. "A p-porno?!"
"How old is this girl supposed to be?" Trowa asked, frowning at the page. "Writing porn?"
Duo sniffed. "And sharing it on the internet. Her parents should ground her."
"I seriously doubt she shares the stories with her parents," Quatre said. He gave Duo a doubtful look, imagining how his father might have reacted to something like that. "Can you see some girl telling her mother that she writes homosexual porn?"
"Eh...good point."
>>
>>The pairings include though not in this order:
>>
Wufei scowled. "Didn't she already give the pairings? Repeating herself already and the story hasn't even started yet."
"More importantly," Duo smirked, "why doesn't she just put them in the order they come in? I bet she's fourteen."
"Not that it makes a difference, though," Quatre said kindly. "We managed to accomplish quite a bit at that age."
"True."
>>
>>1x2, 1x3, 1x4, 1x5, 6x1,
>>
"What the hell...?" Duo stared, his face turning red. "Heero...1x2, 1x3, 1x4, 1x5...6x1?!" He reeled on the other boy, his expression livid. "You *never* let me be on top so why the *hell* would *Zechs* get to be?!"
Heero turned a bit pale, then pink, and he shook his head quickly, fighting the urge to move his chair back. "It's fiction, Duo. Remember?"
>>
>>3x2, 4x2,
>>
"Besides," Quatre said slowly, his own hot face not helping any. "Duo...there's a...4x2..."
"What?!"
The blonde boy blushed darker as both Trowa and Duo stared at him, then they looked down at the paper they held and cursed. "I didn't do anything," he said defensively. "I don't know *what's* wrong with this person, writing stuff like that."
>>
>>5x2, 6x2, 3x4, 5x3, 6x3, 5x4, 6x4, 6x5.
>>
"Zechs is with everyone," Wufei said, his relief audible. "Not just me."
"But those aren't the *main* pairings," Heero reminded him. He smirked and turned so he could look at his wide-eyed lover. "Duo, did you notice what position you have...in *all* of the pairings?"
"Wha...? What?! Damnit, why am I always on bottom?! I'm as much of a man as any of you!" The many raised eyebrows made him glare, and he pinned Quatre with a dark gaze. "And there's no way I wouldn't be able to dominate *you*."
"Hey!" Quatre cried, folding his arms over his chest. "What are you trying to say, Duo?"
"Just read the actual story," Heero said again, not wanting a fight to break out. "And remember that this is fiction."
"Fine, but we'll discus this later." Quatre scowled at Duo again, then looked down at the pages in his hands.
>>
>>May be minor Relena or Dorothy bashing,
>>
"Is...Dorothy and Relena..." Wufei seemed to have trouble asking the question, and his face looked a bit greenish. "Are they in this story with...us?"
"Oh yuck!" Duo bent forward, making retching noises as he gagged violently. "Eww...that's *so* gross! I'm not reading *that*!"
"I scanned ahead earlier," Heero said. "They are just mentioned in the end."
"Whew...that was close. So what's she mean by bashing? Are we going to beat them up or something?" Duo raised an eyebrow and tried to imagine the five of them beating up Relena. "Why would we want to do that? Dorothy would kill us."
"I think it means portraying them badly," Heero shrugged. "Like I said, they are only at the end of the fic, just a short part. I don't think we actually see them at all."
"Good."
>>
>>but it's a very tiny part if it is bashing at all,
>>I don't think so, just a bit OOC.
>>
Trowa looked to Heero again. "OOC?"
"Out of character?" Duo guessed.
Heero shrugged. "Most likely. But considering the pairings, I'd say we're all out of character."
>>
>>Again, odd pairings, PWP, major lemons.
>>
"Still repeating herself," Wufei sniffed.
Quatre shrugged. "I guess they take warnings seriously."
"Heh, wonder if it's as bad as she makes out," Duo smirked.
"The kleenex are here for a reason." The boy glanced at him, but Heero merely nodded to the story.
>>
>>If these pairings offend you--DON'T READ.
>>
"I get it," Duo said. "It's to scare off the homophobes!"
"Or people like you who don't like pairings where you're always on bottom." Heero smirked when the boy glared at him.
"Does she think this makes her actions allowable?" Wufei asked. His eyes narrowed, and he was obviously thinking of the 'main' pairing of 6x5. "She writes what she wants and tells people not to read if they don't like it. As if that will stop people from getting angry."
"Oh be quiet," Duo said, waving a hand at the boy. "At least you get to be on top once in a while. If anyone gets to get angry, it would be me. Eternal uke, my ass."
Heero snorted, and Wufei choked again. "That's the point," Heero drawled. "With your ass, you're the uke." Duo simmered at him, but didn't answer the taunt.
>>
>>Otherwise, enjoy, I did.
>>
"I'll just bet she did," Duo glared, still steamed at the uke taunt. It was times like this that he had a strong urge to whip out a bit of bondage on Heero. The boy was getting a little too cocky - and not in the good way.
>>
>>(if you've never seen a porno, you may have
>>trouble with this).
>>
"Uh-oh," Duo blinked. "Wufei, maybe you shouldn't read this."
"Are you trying to insinuate that I don't know about sex?" Wufei glared.
"No, but if you'd ever read a porno you'd probably die of bloodloss - right out your nose." The Chinese boy turned bright red with anger, and Duo snickered merrily. "And if that happens here, you won't be able to sue the author because she did warn you about it."
>>
>>Author: Arigatomina
>>
"Is that her name?" Trowa seemed calmer than the others, but then, he usually *did* seem calm. "Arigatomina?"
"Yes," Heero nodded. "She's using two Japanese words, probably because Gundam Wing originated in Japan."
"What *is* Gundam Wing?" Duo asked suddenly.
"It's an anime series about us and the war," Heero said quickly, hoping they wouldn't find out he'd watched it. There had been simply too much of an implied relationship between him and Relena for him to be comfortable with it, and he could imagine how badly Duo would take *that*. "That's not important, though. Her name, it's thank you and everyone."
"I get it," Duo smiled, "Arigato and mina. That's cool."
>>
>>And They All Came
>>
Duo laughed, nearly knocking over his coffee. "That's the title?!" Duo choked, grinning widely. "Damn that's great!"
Heero smirked, but didn't say anything. He'd expected Duo to get a kick out of that, but he wondered if the boy would get the double meaning after reading the actual story. Still, it was a long story.
>>
>>"Well, Trowa, it's very nice to see you again."
>>
"It *is* like a porno!" Duo blinked, looking over at Trowa. "You meet up with an old friend and immediately fall into bed together."
Quatre's eyebrow twitched, and he sent Duo a dark look. "Trowa isn't that easy."
"No harm intended." Duo leaned a bit away from the boy, not liking the way those pale blue-green eyes were narrowed at him.
>>
>>Smiling, Quatre set his bag down inside the door
>>
"On the floor," Duo nodded knowingly. "That way the bed isn't cluttered up."
"Duo." Frowning at the boy, Quatre shook his head. "If I haven't seen him for a while, I doubt we'd just have sex the next time we met."
"Don't be so sure," Heero said. His voice was very sober, and he refused to meet the blonde's questioning gaze.
>>
>>as he stood to the side so the tall boy could
>>enter.
>>
Duo snickered, moving a hand over his mouth. "Shouldn't that be 'moved his legs to the side'? Who's Trowa entering if Quatre gets out of his way?"
Face flaming, Quatre sputtered into his cup. "Duo!"
>>
>>"Are you sure you don't mind sharing a room with
>>me?"
>>
"You're the one inviting him to share your room," Duo smirked. "Don't look at me." The blonde boy blushed a bit more, but didn't say anything to that.
>>
>>Taking in the single large bed,
>>
"Taking in?" Duo raised an eyebrow, looking from Quatre to Trowa. "Is it just me or is someone having sex with a bed? And a large one at that."
"At least it's just a single bed," Heero commented. Duo snickered merrily at his deadpan expression.
>>
>>Trowa glanced around as he pushed the door shut
>>behind him.
>>
"That's right," Duo nodded. "Don't want him sneaking out on you now that you've prepared yourself with that large bed. Sounds like a 4x3 to me."
Trowa's eyebrow twitched, and he stared at the long-haired boy. "Is everything sexual to you?"
"It *is* a porno," Duo frowned. "Don't look at me, I didn't write it."
>>
>>It wasn't that large of a room, but it had its
>>own bathroom
>>
"To clean up afterward? She's got things planned out." Duo blinked when Heero shook his head at him.
"More like Trowa has things planned out, or Quatre."
"Oh," Duo smiled. "Right. The two lovebirds are meeting up for a nice little reunion."
>>
>>and a large dresser as well as closet. Setting
>>his suitcase down,
>>
"To free up his hands," Duo put in, nodding happily. He smirked when Quatre frowned in annoyance.
>>
>>he watched as Quatre sat down on the edge of the
>>bed.
>>
Quatre spoke when Duo's mouth shot open. "I know, I know," he said, rolling his eyes. "I'm right where he wants me."
Trowa smirked, but didn't say anything.
>>
>>"There are only five bedrooms," he said slowly,
>>hiding his satisfaction.
>>
"So Trowa's the one who planned things out," Duo said, looking over at the boy. "Nice going."
"I'm surprised he'd be so easily satisfied, though," Heero commented. "Quatre's still dressed."
"Ah, I'm sure he'll fix that soon enough." Duo smirked when his blonde friend gave a loud sigh.
>>
>>It had been too long since he'd seen the blonde
>>boy, and he didn't mind sharing a room with him.
>>
Duo rolled his eyes. "We already know he didn't mind. Trowa's the one who planned it out."
Wufei sniffed. "Redundant."
>>
>>"We roomed together during the war,
>>
"Wait," Quatre frowned. "Is she trying to say Trowa and I were intimate back then? We were far too busy for something like that."
"No," Duo said casually. "Just that he's already seen you naked so sharing a bed with him wouldn't be anything new."
"That's the same thing," Quatre glared.
Duo smiled. "I know."
>>
>>and the others seemed eager to have their own
>>rooms."
>>
Wufei raised an eyebrow, not wanting to get his hopes up. "Then the rest of us aren't paired off yet? How long *is* this story? How does she expect to get all those sex scenes into one story if the only ones who've even shared a room are Trowa and Quatre?"
"Don't ask me," Duo said. "Maybe that's why it's a pointless fic. Nothing makes sense in pornos."
>>
>>"Yeah," Quatre said, trying not to blush.
>>
"Aww," Duo smiled. "Quatre's a virgin."
"Duo." The boy blinked and Quatre sent him a warning glare that had him closing his mouth very quickly.
>>
>>It was true that they'd shared a room, but not
>>a bed.
>>
"Trowa slept on the floor." Everyone turned to look at him, and Quatre shrugged. "I couldn't talk him into taking the bed, let alone sharing it with me."
"And when was this?" Duo asked, his eyes wide.
"Before the Noventa incident," Quatre said. "We ended up sharing a hotel room. But Trowa slept on the floor." He sent a look over at the boy beside him, making Trowa's cheeks turn a light shade of pink. "You were so stubborn and shy..."
"..."
>>
>>Determined to hide his uncomfortable thoughts,
>>
"Uncomfortable thoughts," Duo wondered aloud, "or uncomfortable reaction to the thought of sharing a bed with Trowa?"
"Probably both," Heero said. "Otherwise he wouldn't have to hide it. Trowa can't read minds."
>>
>>he smiled. "I was surprised they all came.
>>
"Wait!" Duo sputtered. "We already came? What kind of porno is that? Just skip right over the sex?"
"Good," Wufei sniffed. "Stupid girlchild writer."
"I think he..." Quatre frowned, tilting his head to the side. "I mean *I* meant that the rest of you came to wherever Trowa and I are supposed to be in the fic. The author didn't say where we were."
"Oh yeah..."
>>
>>Especially since we don't know who invited us."
>>
"Yep," Duo said. "Definitely a porno. There's no way we'd have gone somewhere if we didn't know who'd invited us. So instead of thinking up a good reason, she just pulls the old porno 'nothing-matters-as-long-as-they-have-sex' routine. Cheap way out."
Wufei's eyebrow twitched and he gave Duo an odd look. "How many pornos have you read?"
"Watched," Duo corrected, his eyes glinting. "And not too many. Heero's more than enough to satisfy me." The black-haired boy flushed, telling him he'd said a little more than necessary. Duo smirked in reaction.
>>
>>"It's been too long,
>>
Duo wasn't the only one to laugh at that, Quatre giggled behind his hand. Turning, he blinked at Trowa. "Too long? I don't remember either of us complaining about *that* being a problem." The tall boy's right cheek was pink again, his hair hiding the other side of his face.
"Damn," Duo muttered. He blinked wide curious eyes on the two of them. "Exactly how long is it?" A hand snatched his braid, and he let out a yipe when he was given a sharp tug.
"You don't need to know," Heero reminded him. His eyes were dangerous enough to make Duo lean away.
Rubbing his head, Duo pouted. "I was just curious. No need to get all jealous on me. Leave the bondage and abuse for the story."
A soft snort made Duo look up, and Wufei smirked at him. "I always knew you were perverted," Wufei said. "No wonder the author put bondage in this thing."
"Ha, ha," Duo sniffed. "I bet it's you and Zechs." That made Wufei's face redden a bit, but it was more anger than embarrassment. Duo waved it aside and looked to the story again.
>>
>>I'd say they wanted to see each other again.
>>
"Well, that makes sense," Quatre nodded. "If this takes place after the war. But you sure do talk a lot in this fic." Dark green eyes turned to him, and he smiled at Trowa. "That's not exactly how I remember it going."
Wufei rolled his eyes. "Spare us the details."
"Maybe you'll luck out," Duo put in quickly, "and this will be one of the short sweet lemons instead of the descriptive ones. That way the long ones can go to you and Zechs." The boy growled at him, and he grinned. "With bondage tossed in for extra. Must be your lucky day, Wufei."
"Shut up."
>>
>>Besides, this resort is very nice and we have it
>>to ourselves."
>>
"Will this author make up her mind?" Wufei glared. "How can they have it to themselves if the rest of us are there? And if she means we're the only ones in the place, then that's just stupid. What kind of resort would let people stay without attendants running it?"
"Porno," Duo reminded him. "Nothing has to make sense in a porno."
"Or a PWP," Heero nodded.
"Hn. Lazy author."
