He was still beautiful.  Trowa tried to center himself, and his hand never faltered, but his eyes strayed, for the tiniest of moments as he stole a glance at
Quatre.  Even with his shimmering eyes, pools of pain, the boy was ethereal; pale beauty shining through the darkness, and he didn't deserve him.  Ice filled
his veins, numbing him and his eyes bore into dark blue ones as he faced Heero.  "Let's go," he said softly, his tone void of anything.  "Don't involve them."

"Listen to me."  He couldn't move since he wouldn't put it past the boy to shoot him out of pure reflex, but Heero's eyes widened a bit.  "If I am taken, they will
be involved. You know that, you must.  You don't have to do this.  I..."  His jaw tightened a bit, and he wanted nothing more than to drop his eyes as shame
poured over him.  "I had no right to say what I did to you...Trowa."

"No," Trowa whispered, his face clear, "You were right.  Everything you said was true.  But that doesn't matter."  His back straightened and he glared.  "I have
my orders.  Either you come now, or I call for the others."

Heero's arm started to move when Quatre suddenly pushed past him, but he froze as the click echoed in the hall, his eyes snapping to where Trowa had
thrown back the hammer.  The blonde boy never hesitated, and he tried to convince himself that the Trowa wouldn't hurt him, not him.  If anything they'd told
him was true, he wouldn't hurt Quatre.

"Trowa."  The tall boy didn't blink, and Quatre stopped a foot from him, his hand curled into fists.  "You're killing me..."  Green eyes widened as Trowa
suddenly looked at him, and the boy's arm actually shook a bit.  A step brought them together, and he traced his fingertips over the tall boy's shoulder, his
gaze delving in green eyes.  "I'm sorry, for whatever I did, but Trowa?  If you don't love me...point your gun here."  He pressed a hand over his aching heart,
bowing his head.  "I can't take this pain.  It hurts...too much.  My love for you."

"You....know I...wouldn't..."

Trowa was staring down at him, his face stricken and pale and Quatre shook his head.  "Hurt me?  I thought you would never do that.  The day you said you
loved me, I felt as if I'd been given the world.  You are the most important person in my life, and I gave you my heart.  And now..."  His voice broke, and his
breath caught in his throat as he choked.  "You don't want it and I don't know why!  Why, Trowa?  How can you *do* this?!"

"Because I can't have you."  His hand was shaking, and he steadied it fiercely, tearing his eyes away from those soul-searing pools.  "I have no purpose
now...but...I have my orders."

"You joined OZ for me!" Quatre said harshly, his whisper not giving evidence to his fury.  "So we could have a life together.  Their orders have no hold on you,
that's not what this is about and you *know* it!  You can't have me?  You threw me away, Trowa!  Why?"  

"Because I love you," Trowa whispered.  The blonde boy flinched, then he closed his eyes, swaying a bit as Quatre's arms wrapped around him in a tight
embrace.  Warmth crept into him and he couldn't fight it, his free arm moving around the boy's slender shoulders.  "I don't know what to do," he breathed, his
lips mere inches from the boy's ear.  "I'm nobody, but that isn't it.  Even if you had no name, Quatre, I still wouldn't be worthy.  I can't give you *anything*."

The muscles trembled beneath his hands in a way Quatre had never imagined possible, but he held the boy closer.  His face was pressed to the rough cloth of
Trowa's uniform and he smiled against it.  As many times as they'd talked about it and the doubts were still there.  But that was something he'd grown
accustomed to.  To him, his contribution to the strong yet vulnerable boy wasn't just his love but his continuous reassurances.  "You know, Trowa.  All I want,
all I've ever needed is you.  Just you.  I've been dead these past weeks, but I can live if all I have is you.  I'd give the world for that, because I love you."

"You always..."  Tilting his head back, Trowa's eyes narrowed and his body loosened a bit.  Pale blue green eyes rose to meet his own and his lips twitched at
that familiar curve to the boy's lips.  "You never let me hate myself.  And you're so stubborn."

"And you love me more because of it, right?"  The boy nodded slowly and Quatre sighed, wanting to melt into him again.  But reality was harsh and he turned
his head, looking to his family.  His eyes halted on his brother, taking in that intense gaze.  Then Duo spoke and he flushed, wondering if he should be
embarrassed for having spoken before them all.  But Trowa's body was growing more relaxed in his arms and he didn't care, so long as the boy didn't push
him away.

"Come with us."  

Heero blinked sharply, glancing to the side as Duo stepped forward, Hilde still in his arms.  The long-haired boy wasn't looking at him, and he stared at the
floor again, knowing he was to blame for both of the boys' pain.  Then his husband issued that soft invitation again and Trowa dropped the gun, both arms
moving around Quatre as he hid his head.

For a moment, he reveled in having his embrace returned, then the boy against him stiffened suddenly, and Quatre's eyes opened as the sound of footsteps
reached him.  He was pushed towards his brother, and he nearly resisted Heero's hold on his wrist when he saw Trowa turn towards the hall.  "Trowa!  Don't
go..."

"If I were to turn up missing now, they'd know you were here," Trowa murmured, his eyes glinting for a moment as he looked at the pale boy.  "I'll be back,
Quatre."

* * *

The search, which seemed so thorough, left a single hall untouched.  Rather, it was pronounced empty by a young man who, while new to the faction, had
made a place for himself and was rightfully believed.  They never looked there.  Instead, the church was deemed clear and the soldiers were separated, sent
to search other places.  The general himself went to the Yuy manor, hopeful that he might reveal anything that would point toward the family's destination.  
Days passed before he even noticed that one soldier had turned up missing after the separation, and he was so angry with his inability to capture Heero Yuy
that he paid the news no heed.  It didn't matter, though, as the fugitives were, by that time, already crossing the border.  On foot, they found a path that no
one had even imagined.

* * *

Crickets.  If there was one thing Duo hated about their forced flight, it was the night sounds that kept him awake.  But hate was really too strong a word, and he
had to admit that there were better things to do than sleep.  He smiled as he partook in one such pastime, leaning his elbows on Heero's chest as he leaned
over the man.  Dark blue eyes met his and he sighed, the softness of that gaze warming his heart.  "I'll never get tired of looking at you," he said softly, mindful
of the tents not far from their own.  "And to think, you're all mine."

Heero smirked, raising an eyebrow at the boy as he curved an arm over Duo's back, fingering the thick braid before curving it around his wrist.  He gave it a
soft tug, then kissed the boy quickly.  Violet eyes closed immediately, and he gave a soft laugh at Duo's pout when he leaned back again after just that brief
touch.  "It's a good thing we're only days away from Treiz's land.  I want to make love to you."  Duo grinned, a happy flush staining his cheeks and Heero's
overplayed sigh contradicted his sparkling eyes.  "You're just too loud with everyone so nearby."

"I could be quiet," Duo argued, but he didn't push, laying his chin on his hands.  "But it'll be nice to get there.  Although, the kids seem to enjoy this little trip."  
His husband's eyes had closed, and he wrinkled his nose.  He knew he wasn't ready to sleep yet and he racked his mind for something they could talk about
that would keep the man's interest.  His eyes sparked suddenly. "It really *is* a good thing that we'll be there soon.  We have to get Quatre and Trowa
married.  I mean, if I didn't know Quatre, I'd be afraid of how close they're getting.  Too bad there wasn't a way to marry them before we left."

"That's why they have separate tents," Heero muttered, not opening his eyes.  He too had noticed the way the two boys touched and he'd had to reign in his
fury more than once.  While he had reconciled himself to the fact that his little brother had grown up, he couldn't stand to see Trowa kiss him.  It hit a nerve.  
"They can be married as soon as we get there.  If I were you, I'd be more worried about Dorothy."

"So you *did* notice!"  Duo grinned, not minding the glare Heero gave him as he propped himself up on the man's chest.  "Quatre actually yelled at her
yesterday for staring at Trowa."

"He shouldn't worry," Heero said, his voice smooth.  "She's just noticing him."  He closed his eyes again, and his sigh was wholehearted this time.  "They're
growing up so fast.  I completely missed their childhood."

"Well, I know one thing for sure.  Hilde's never getting married.  Not till she's at least twenty."  Heero laughed suddenly and Duo slapped a hand over the man's
mouth, glaring at him.  "Shh!"

"You're pathetic," Heero murmured.  "Now go to sleep."  The boy smiled and he pulled him close, shifting beneath the covers.  The tent was small, but they
didn't need room.  "I love you, Duo, but you're horrible when you don't get enough sleep."

"You say such wonderful things," Duo said, snickering against the man's neck as he curled against him.  "What a romantic..."  The arms wrapped around him
tightened for a second and he sighed, snuggling closer.  "I love you too.  With all my heart."

--Owari--



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