June 11
I've read Heero's journal, so I know why he wrote it. I'm writing this for a similar reason, only it isn't for Heero but for whoever happens to read this. When I first heard Heero's story, I thought he might be as crazy as he thought. But I don't make hasty decisions and after thinking over what he wrote I came to a different conclusion. It seems to me that this person he saw on the beach might not be a figment of his imagination. In fact, if this were a plot to drive him insane, it would have worked perfectly. Due to this type of thinking, I retraced Heero's path down the beach.
I didn't tell him I was going since I knew it would affect him badly. I drugged him instead, a good thing since he needed his sleep. I planned to find out who the boy was, not believing Heero's accounts of the way he disappeared. I'm quite the skeptic, always doubting what I've been told until I've found my own proof. And I did, although it wasn't what I was expecting. Yes, I had an encounter of my own on that part of the beach. That's why I'm following Heero's example with this journal.
The last thing I was expecting when I spotted a rock and forest that matched Heero's descriptions was to be met with open arms. After all, according to Heero, the boy he spoke to ran from him and wanted nothing to do with him. There was no reason for me to expect the greeting I received when I walked to the edge of the forest. I'd looked to the rock, but the boy Heero'd spoken of was either somewhere else or didn't exist. I still lacked proof one way or the other, so my next step was to investigate the forest. Heero is an excellent soldier, perfect in many ways, but I happen to be good at noticing details. I know Heero wrote in his journal that he'd explored that forest, inch by inch, but I also knew that a second opinion couldn't hurt anything. But it was on my way to the forest that I had my encounter.
I was about five feet from the edge of the first line of trees when I heard a gasp. Since I'd been prepared to be met by *someone*, I wasn't too startled when a small blonde boy stepped out of the forest. On that note, I have to say that, like Heero, I couldn't see where the boy came from. It really was as if he stepped out of thin air. I know it wasn't the boy on the rock, I remembered Heero's descriptions accurately. No, it was the blonde boy that Heero'd watched having a 'silent conversation' with the boy from the rock. If he had run as with Heero's encounters, I might not be writing this right now. I'd most likely be packing our things and preparing an immediate departure before Heero could further infect me with his psychosis.
The boy didn't run, though, instead he stood, his lips forming a word over and over. Unlike Heero, I wasn't trained at reading lips and I didn't know what he was saying. I was confused, wondering if the boys were mute or if their behavior was an act. I couldn't let go of the feeling that it was a trick, an elaborate and effective trick, but a trick nonetheless. Then the boy's blue-green eyes widened and he gave a choked cry, blowing away any thought of his being mute. What happened next confuses me to no end. This boy who I've never seen before, screamed my name and ran to me. If I'd been anyone else, except Heero when he isn't convinced he's going crazy, I probably would have been worried that he was going to attack me. I knew he couldn't harm me, though, he simply wasn't strong enough.
That's when he threw himself on me and wrapped his arms around my waist. Now, this is why I'm writing this. Not only did a strange boy scream my name and throw himself into my arms, but I liked it. Somehow, it remains a mystery to me, it felt right to have his arms around me, and that was when I realized he was real. No matter what Heero said about seeing the boys disappear, I could feel the boy when he put his arms around me, I could feel his hands on my back. And I take that as my proof that he wasn't a figment of Heero's or my imagination. Unlike him, I do have an imagination and I know that you can't actually feel a daydream or a nightmare. It just doesn't work that way.
No, I had a real boy in my arms and I had no intention of letting him disappear before I got answers. Unfortunately, it was hard to think with him in my arms, I couldn't help but wrap my arms around him. Especially with the way he had his cheek pressed to my chest. It *was* difficult to think, but I know I'm not crazy. Unlike Heero, I have complete confidence in myself. I think that if I *were* to go crazy, I would be the first to admit it. No, I am not crazy, but that meant there was at least one person on the island besides Heero and me. Logically, if this boy was real and the same as the description Heero gave, then the boy Heero saw was most likely real as well.
These thoughts moved quickly through my mind, but when I started to ask, my throat closed up on me. I think my body betrayed me, knowing the boy felt right where he was and unwilling to do anything that would cause him to flee. Heero once told me that the only way to lead a good life was to act on my emotions. I guess my body listened even if my mind rebelled, because it was acting without my permission. I don't want to give the impression that I was being controlled. I could have broken away if I'd tried to. Once I realized how determined my body was, I decided there was no reason not to let it have it's way while I thought out what I would say to the boy.
The short blonde boy didn't seem to mind my silence, he was reciprocating it. By this time, I was re-evaluating my theory of someone, most likely an enemy made during the war, purposely trying to drive Heero crazy. The look of pure, unadulterated joy that had spread across the boy's face when he saw me was too convincing. The desperate way he screamed my name too heartfelt to have been faked. I'm not easily fooled by people, I have a way of telling when someone is lying to me, and all I felt from this boy was honest joy. I was preparing to ask him my questions, not the one's I'd originally planned to ask, when I heard his hoarse whisper. 'I waited so long. But I knew you'd come back. I knew you'd keep your promise.'
His words were like lightening through my body, electricity flowing through my veins. For some reason, they had meaning to me. It was then that I told him I had to leave. I've never seen a more pain-filled expression than the one he gave me at that moment. Speaking carefully, stepping away from him, I said that I had to return to Heero. He agreed to see me again tomorrow. I'll go back tomorrow and get to the bottom of what is happening on this island. Until then, I have to figure out what to tell Heero. That's part of the reason I'm writing this. It was easier for Heero to give me his journal than to tell the story to me himself. I think that it would be easier for me to do the same thing. I'll find out.
***end of entry***
June 12
I know Heero can be stubborn. I've known since we were children, but for some reason, I thought this time would be different. It wasn't. His eyes got so wide when I told him what I'd seen and what had happened. Then he got that sullen, stubborn look of determination he used to get right before he did some suicidal, kamikaze act during the war. He's now convinced that we are both going crazy and I'm starting to worry that if he doesn't start to believe soon, he may really *go* crazy. I tried talking to him, offered to let him read what I'd written in this journal, but he wasn't interested. Now he won't even talk to me.
The blonde boy, his name is Quatre, was surprised when I told him about Heero's encounter with the longhaired boy. But not nearly as surprised as he was when I asked him his name. Actually, surprise isn't the right word, more like stricken and betrayed. Because I didn't remember him. But that was nothing compared to the pain and confusion that filled his blue-green eyes when I told him we'd never met. It was then that I understood why Heero had been so hurt by the other boy's tears. When Quatre's eyes filled and he turned and bolted for the forest, it felt as if my heart had been ripped from my chest.
***end of entry***
Violet eyes blinked blearily at the sobbing boy who sat beside him, golden head hidden in his arms. "Quatre?"
Tear-filled blue eyes met his and Quatre threw himself into his arms. "Duo," the pale boy whispered, face hidden against Duo's shoulder. "Trowa doesn't remember me! Oh God, why doesn't he remember me?"
Pushing the other boy back so he met his eyes, Duo shook his head sadly. "Him too....."
Quatre's eyes narrowed suddenly. "Why didn't you tell me you'd seen Heero? Why would you keep that from me?"
"Because I realized he didn't remember. I knew it was him as soon as I saw him, but....he didn't know me."
"Trowa said he thinks he's crazy. He thinks he just imagined you."
"It's just as well," Duo said cynically, looking away. "He has a different life, now. A life without me. Maybe," Duo stopped, stepping out of the forest to stand on the dark beach, looking up at the stars. "Maybe it's time for me to move on. We've been waiting for so long, Quatre. I'm tired."
Exiting the forest as well, Quatre moved to stand beside him. "Maybe...maybe it doesn't matter if they remember us. Maybe the important thing is that we're together again. We have a chance to start over."
With a growl, Duo stalked to his rock. Boosting himself up, he crossed his legs and looked up at the moon. "What if I don't *want* to start over?! Do you have any idea how long it took for him to tell me he loved me?" Duo's voice dropped to a whisper and Quatre moved closer to hear him.
"Maybe they'll remember eventually. On some level, they do feel a connection to us. Trowa told me that Heero was very hurt that he'd made you cry," Quatre put a hand on Duo's shoulder when the long- haired boy turned to pin him with a questioning gaze. "And that Heero said there was...something...pulling him to come back." Duo's violet eyes lit with hope and Quatre felt his own grounded hope begin to blossom again. "The only reason he hasn't been back is because *you* asked him not to."
Duo looked down, his long lashes hiding his eyes from Quatre's view. A grin slowly spread across his face, then he looked up, eyes sparkling. "Do you remember when Heero and I first dated? How stubborn he was?" At Quatre's nod, Duo's grin widened. "If my request actually made him not do something, then he still cares, whether he remembers or not."
"So what do we do now?"
"Let's go remind them."
